Friday, November 15, 2013

The Big Day

Dear Katie,

"Well, Mom," you said, stretching and yawning, "I think we better get some rest!  We have a big day tomorrow."

"Oh?"  I said.  "What's going on tomorrow?"

" first day of being five!" you exclaimed, looking at me with that look that says, Really?  You should know what day it is.

 "Oh yes, that's right!  It is!"  I said, with much enthusiasm.  "And what types of things does one do on their first day of being five?!" 

"Well, I guess I'll probably just relax and take it easy.  That's usually what you do the day after your birthday."

That was our bedtime conversation last night.  You turned five yesterday.

We had a great day together, just me and you!  You said it was the best birthday ever, even though there was no party and I had to pick up a few groceries smack dab in the middle of it.  (Yuck.)

Everyone's been asking you that question you might ask a child..."Do you feel any older?"  And you reply that you do not, and then get that look on your face as though the wheels are now spinning and you're starting to wonder if you're supposed to.

But while you do not feel any different, I'm going to be completely honest and tell you that I kind of do.

I feel like you hit a big milestone.

Maybe it's in my head.  Maybe it's the fact that you're my baby and I've sort of been hit with a strong case of "baby fever" here lately and that, by the time your big sister was this age, you were already here.

Maybe it's the in-my-face, undeniable proof that time is, in fact, marching on.  Because here we are--yet another year of your life gone by.  Seems like only yesterday Dad and I were pacing the halls of the hospital, anxiously waiting for you to be ready to be welcomed into this world.  (You truly don't do anything until you're good and ready--we should've known this from the beginning.)

Maybe it's that you, along with your sister, seem to get bigger and taller and smarter and funnier and more beautiful every day...evidence that you're becoming a young lady instead of my little baby.

Whatever it is going on inside of me today, one thing is for certain.  You're obviously going to relax and take it easy.  Maybe stay in your pajamas and lounge around all day.  We all need those days from time to time, don't we? 

And I'm going to do my best to remember that, try as I might, there's just no way to slow down time and delay the girls are growing up right before my eyes!  And perhaps I'd do well to adopt your "big day" philosophy into my own daily life.

Because if I woke up this morning, today is a big day.  It's another day to kiss, cuddle, console, read to, play with, and shepherd my girls.  And instead of denying the inevitable or mourn what has passed, I think I'll just try to embrace each moment and be faithful to what I'm being asked to do now.  Today.

Because when the Lord is calling you to do something so monumental as raise children, every day is a big dayThank you for reminding me of this.



March 27, 2016:  Easter

We've been having conversations lately which remind me of this "big day" philosophy of yours.  Just the other day you came in from talking with our friend next door and announced that you've discovered a talent of yours; the ability to take something that could be bad and turn it into something good.  I agreed.  You then lamented that you don't know of a word to describe that.  I told you it's called being optimistic, among other things.  That made you smile.  You appreciate big, juicy words, like mama.

And last night, as I was prepping things for today's dinner, you got incredibly excited and started hopping around and clapping and chatting incessantly about how today is Easter.  I tried to pinpoint what specifically you were looking forward to, but I don't think there was a particular thing.  It's just a special day to you.  One of many.

I adore this about you, Katie.  The ability to turn seemingly ordinary things into a source of joy and celebration.  My fervent prayer for you is that this gift never eludes you, as it's so inspiring to watch and will serve you well.

You embody the very attitude I think all of us who follow Jesus are supposed to live out every day;  living in the victory.  On this day, many of us are celebrating this victory...over death, despair, and sin.  It is on this holy day that we're reminded that Jesus the Conqueror has won.  And because of that, we can find joy and have something to look forward to.  And you.  You've hidden that in your heart and carry it with you every single day.  It lights you up and permeates each conversation and every choice.  It oozes from your very being.  Oh, that that could be said about me.  About us all.  You are a shining example, Katelynn.  Just beautiful.  Truly more than a conqueror.  Happy Easter, my love.       

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